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Fear of the Dance by Donna Delacerda

Clawing desperately in the dark
body covered in a thick sheen of sweat
pain, excruciating pain
a nightmare perhaps, please let it only be a nightmare
leaping to my feet I realize it is not.

Clenching my teeth
hearing them crack under the pressure
feeling the burning again, the fire
neck to nose and back
here we go again, no
NO! not again....

Slipping silently past the sleeping children
God watch over them while I dance with the devil
tonight
again
just like every other night
Let them sleep and never see the pain
Never

Almost running in circles
head tilted over to my shoulder
hand numb from trying to press the ice
deeper into my burning skull
no relief no relief no relief
why

Silently screaming with the pain
falling to the floor and
begging God to take me
release me
forgive me for whatever wrong I did
to deserve this torture
pure torture
this evil that wont leave me alone

An eternity of dancing
the beast stepping on my toes
while he drives his dark fingers
into my eye
my ear
pushing my teeth out of my jaw
and burning them before they ever hit the floor
just let me die
please no more

Like a switch
I feel the sensation I was longing for
a click behind the ear
a crunching in the neck
another tear drop slides down my cheek
only this one is relief
falling to the floor
exhausted
daring not to sleep again
for fear of dancing again tonight
alone
so very alone

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